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How to tell if you are in an abusive relationship?
Does your mate or date:
- Become jealous of your time with co-workers, family and friends?
- Use controlling behavior? (controls your coming and goings, your money, and insists on helping your make personal decisions.)
- Isolate you? (cuts your off from all supportive resources such as telephone calls, colleagues at work, and close family members?)
- Blame others for his problems? (Unemployment, family quarrels – everything is your fault)
- Is he hypersensitive? (Easily upset. Annoyances that are a part of daily life, such as being asked to work overtime, criticism, of any kind, being asked to help with chores or child care?)
- Cruel to animals or children? (Insensitive to their pain or suffering, may tease and/or hurt children or animals.)
- Playful use of force in sex? (May throw you down and hold you during sex. May start having sex with you when you are sleeping or demand sex when you are ill or tired).
- Abuse you verbally? (Says cruel or hurtful things. Degrades and humiliates you. Wakes you up to verbally abuse you or doesn’t let you go to sleep.)
- Has a Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde personality? (Sudden mod swings and unpredictable behavior, one minute loving the next minute angry and punitive.)
- Have a past history of battering? (Has hit others but has a list of excuses for having been pushed over the edge.)
- Makes threats of violence? (Says I’ll slap you. I’ll kill you, I’ll break your neck.)
- Break or strike objects? (Breaks your possessions, beats on the table with fist. Throws objects near or at you or your children.)
- Uses force during an argument? (Holds you down or against a wall, pushed, shoves, slaps or kicks you. This type of behavior can easily escalate to choking, stabbing or shooting.)
If you answered YES to any of these questions there is a problem in your relationship. If you answered YES to three or more of these questions you may be in danger and need outside assistance.
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